You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
