FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
