like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
