I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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