I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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