I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
