they need to just BURY HIM!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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