4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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