How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
