its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Bring me that man meat
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
