I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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