don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
