I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
