Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
