I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
