actually, I'm a sock model
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize