And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
