There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
