he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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