is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
