i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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