im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
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I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
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Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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