drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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