I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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