i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
