Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
