am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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