Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
