I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize