Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
