im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize