I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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