Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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