Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize