you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
