U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
