Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
