we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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