this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
