that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
