I never want to see another naked old woman again.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
