i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
im holly from the hills drunk
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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