while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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