She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
