so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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