carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
