dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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