He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
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Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
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I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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