Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize