I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
