I haven't been this sober since birth.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
