you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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