I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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