My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
