when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
id be glad to
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
