I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
