If that was your dad, he is hot
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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