So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
