I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
