I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
