i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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