I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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