We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize