I just cut my nipple shaving
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize