My room smells like vodka and shame
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
