I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
