I feel great
I just peed on a car
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
