He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
