Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
